You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My vagina just clenched in fear
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
