Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize