Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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