True but thats because hes a fetus.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have fence marks all over my body
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
