I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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