let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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