There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
