I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
