she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Terrible idea I love it
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
