no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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