he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
