just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
