The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
