He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
