one might say we're banned from that church
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
