I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
