This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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