So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
