he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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