People with herpes should wear stickers.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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