Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
