I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
