It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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