i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
