why didn't you poke me back
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
