So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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