I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
