Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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