This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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