i jhust puked up my retainher.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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