Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize