Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
