there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
