there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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