i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
