She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
