I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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