Need sex. Gaining weight.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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