A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
