Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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