I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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