Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
