Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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