Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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