6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
