I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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