sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
