worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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