Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
