I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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