We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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