Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
