I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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