oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
