I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize