Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
