THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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