I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
