Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
